Expectations

Today is the last day of the “love month” and I can’t help but to reminisce, as if in this month many things had made me realize… had conversations with my friends, and I can’t help but to think about it… I can’t ignore it. hehehe

One of things I discussed with a good friend was about “expectations”. She asked me if:

“Is it normal to feel jealous when one of your friends will not confide or tell you a secret but instead confide it with your other friends?” “If that’s the case, maybe they should not make you feel that you don’t know something?” “Maybe I’m expecting too much?’

At first, I don’t know what to say… I’ve been through that situation, and still struggling with that feeling. But, as if I’m expert in giving advice, I told her “its normal to feel that way, for I also felt that way but I’ve learned that there is no way but to accept that sometimes other people will not confide to you everything. Don’t expect them to value you as you have valued them. In short, don’t expect that much, for it will only make you sad, miserable and jealous. Lower your expectations. Another way is to share your expectations, you may tell them what you feel when they’re doing that.”

I can’t believe that I told her that, but as I look back, I can say that I had managed to do that -“lower your expectations”. I’ve also learned how to react when you’re expectations are not met.

Count your Blessings

It's true that when you only think of the bad things that's happening and that had happened to you, it will only make you unhappy.

Its true that when you will start realizing how blessed you are, you will be happy for who you are, for what you have and be able to accept the bad things that had happened to you. You will see the positive and brighter side of every situation.

Counting your blessings may not only include those material things that you have but for the people who have loved you unconditionally, for the time you had shared, for the way they had reach out to you, and just by the listening to you (this is really a blessing for me). These are the things that we think are not that important but as we go along the journey of life; we will realize that indeed this is what we have to do for each other.

Counting your blessings will also give you the enthusiasm to see God's plan for you. You will start realizing that God’s love endures, though you may have taken Him for granted by directing your life on your own.

Indeed, for everything that I have now… all I can say are these:

Thank you
Salamat
Gracias

emotions

When Morrie talks about…emotions:

“What I’m doing now is detaching myself from experience. And this is important – not just for someone like me, who is dying, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach. But detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it.”

“Take any emotion – love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognized that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.’ "

“Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent”

Love is in the air...

It's V-day!!! Who said that V-day is for couples only? I think everyday should be Valentine's Day, right?

But today is a special day for me. Parang Valentine's day nga talaga. hahaha! I'm so grateful for these people whom I spent every single day, more than 8 hrs/day. We’ve been thru happy and sad moments, nagkatampuhan na’t nagkasamaan ng loob pero andyan pa rin. I really love them. They’ve been my candle when I’m in the dark. They’ve seen me in my lowest, and I’m with them in my highest.

Thank you Marco for the flower. Hehehe! You're really a sweet guy. Thanks for your patience sa aming mga Berks gurls.

Thank you May for the coffee and the heart shape donut. I really appreciate it especially the effort na magdrive para bumili and magtimpla ng kape. I'm so grateful having a friend like you. Four years na pala tayo magkaibigan pero parang ang tagal tagal na, napakasaya talaga ang buhay pag kasama ka. Isa ka sa mga taong kahet di ko makita ng matagal, maalala't maalala kita. hehehe!

To Berks! Here's one big "Thank you!", I love you all! Happy Heart's Day!

12th Hot Air Balloon Fiesta

Me and my friends went to Pampanga to witness the 12th Hot air balloon fiesta last saturday, February 9. We planned this trip a week ago and even considered travelling at 2am in the morning just to catch the 5:30am hot air balloon flight. We arrived at around 7am and we don't see any hot air balloon... Hahaha! Too bad! What we did instead is "kite fying" hahaha!

Because of lack of sleep and hot sunny day, we decided to eat lunch and to stay at Joan's house. We slept from 1pm to 6pm. Then we attended the party of her sister-in-law's niece at around 7pm.

Wheeew! What a tiring and hectic day.

He's Just Not That Into You

-=deleted=-

FaMiLy (Father and Mother i Love you)

As I read Tuesdays with Morrie and a discussion about family was tackled, I can’t help but think of my own family. It’s been 5 month since they left me (left ba talaga?).

Morrie said “The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn’t the family. It’s become quite clear to me as I’ve been sick. If you don’t have support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don’t have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As our great poet Auden said, ‘Love each other or perish.’”

I can totally relate to Morrie, it’s been clear to me since my heart took a beating that scarred me for the rest of my life. I really appreciate it every time they call me at the middle of night, asking me if I’m ok, consoling me about what happened. My mom would always end our conversation with “I love you” every time we talk, but I always laugh out loud and she would end up laughing too. But this time it’s different, I would answer back with “I love you.” Mas naging cheesy ata ako sa family ko. Hehehe!

“..Sure people would come visit, friends, associates, but it’s not the same as having someone who will not leave. It’s not the same as having someone whom who know has an eye on you, is watching you the whole time. This is part of what a family is about, not just love, but letting others know there’s someone who is watching out for them. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame. Not work.”

So true. Though were miles apart, I can still feel their presence, they are watching me. Hehehe! Constantly checking on me, but I know they trust me. They’re just concern.

oh gosh... it's chucks!

I love converse sneakers!!! It 's so comfortable, and i like matching it up with my shirts. I love collecting these shoes in different colors. My favorite is the pink one... hehehe! mukang gamit na gamit na di ba? I already have three of these and I'm planning to buy a new one (the red one). Magiging apat na sila.























I'm going to buy this one:

Lamentation

As defined at Encarta, lamentation when used as transitive and intransitive verb means
1. express sadness: to express grief or sorrow about something
2. express regret: to express regret, annoyance, or disappointment about something.

when used as noun means:
1. expression of sadness: an expression of grief or sorrow
2. expression of regret: an expression of regret, annoyance, or disappointment
3. work lamenting death: a song or poem of mourning

I don't know why at the end of the day, "lamentations" hit me. I don’t know what to do, been trying to live each day with a purpose but I don’t know where I am going. I have been afraid in making definite plans for me.

I know nobody had realized how upset I had been, I see the world as a vast place, and I was very small. I wondered how I would ever make my way in this world. Some part of me had always felt small and insecure; wondering how I would fit in this world. A part of me felt like a small, abandoned girl, and powerless.

Tuesdays with Curls

I'm back on reading books again. It's been awhile since I read a good book and finished reading it. I think because I have more time to read now. Been to Greenbelt and the first store I stopped by is the Powerbooks. I love going there and I enjoy reading some of their open books while sitting on on their couch. Hehehe!

I bought two books, Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus (Starting Over) by John Gray and Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. Have already read some chapters of the latter and here are some of the valuable lessons that Mitch learned from Morrie. These messages also struck me and want to share it with you:

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself creating something that gives you purpose and meaning”

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Let it come in. We think we don’t deserve love, we think if we let it in we’ll become too soft. But a wise man name Levine said it right. He said, ‘Love is the only rational act.’”

“Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too – even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.”

“The culture we have does not make people good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.”

“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted”

Haven’t finished the book and I’m excited to learn more lessons from Morrie, It fells like I’m spending my Tuesdays with Morie too. Till next Tuesday!

Happy Birthday Agnes! c",)

Today is my dearest friend's, Agnes, birthday. She's so beautiful inside and out. At first, I thought she's snob and maarte pero she is exactly the opposite nung nakilala ko na sya. I don't know how we became this close. Pero we felt that intense connection on the time we met. hahaha! Di ko ata maalala yun. Thanks for all the advices, sa pakikinig sa mga kwento ko na paulit ulit and pagsesermon. hehehe!

Sobrang bait ng babaeng to, thoughtful and sweet. Sana di ka magbago kahet ano man mangyayari pagbabago pa sa atin. Salamat sa load, hahaha! Yung mga globe dyan pwede kayo magpaload, sa sweldo na ang bayaran. hahaha! Lugi na ba neng? Di na kasi ako malakas magload no? hehehe!

Seriously, you're one of the blessings I'm so grateful havin and I'm so thankful we became friends. I wish you happiness, more love, good health and more financial blessings (para madami panggala hehehe). Mwuah!!!